Why You Are Currently Failing With Women
This is why you're not enjoying the dating life you'd like to.
OK, so I started a Substack!
Hip hip hooray!
I’m NOT going to spend this first post telling you my Batman origin story or any of that stuff.
For a start I find those bio-type posts boring, and secondly, if you’re here there’s a reasonable chance you’ll know something about me anyway since I’ve made about 5 billion videos and my ramblings are all over the internet.
With that being said, a few salient points; I’m Troy Francis (an alias of course, drawn from Far From The Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy). I’m 50 years old. I’m largely based in London. I’ve written over 12 books about dating plus one novel. I’ve taught thousands of guys the intricacies of getting better with women all over the planet (both online and in person). I’ve enjoyed a very debauched past but my real focus is on self-improvement, or at least, trying to be a better, more effective human being one day at a time.
If you have any more questions you can post them below. And anyway, more of my backstory will naturally come through as this blog progresses.
Now, onto the meat and drink of this virgin post . . .
The Ineradicable Dichotomy of 'Game'
Put simply - you want it too badly.
And when I say ‘it’, what I mean, of course, are all those glittering, jewel-like narcotic fascinations we recieve (or imagine we will receive) when we are in the arms of a beautiful and beguiling women.
This is not your fault.
In fact, it’s only natural - particularly if you are a young man.
Because men - and young men specifically - CRAVE sexual intimacy with attractive women.
It’s in our biology, in our DNA, in our BLOOD.
We are - quite beyond our control - compelled (as soon as we hit adolescence) to run around like rats in a cage in some inhumane experiment TRYING to find ways to bring women into our lives.
For a time we become slaves to this impulse. We are unable to escape or evade it. It keeps us awake at night. It monopolises our thoughts 24/7. We become unwilling subservients to an addiction that can quite literally drive us mad.
Some men, though, are lucky.
Some men find the whole process of meeting and attracting beautiful women to be a walk in the park.
‘Why are you overthinking this nonsense?’ they taunt us. ‘All you have to do is walk up to her, smile, and nature will take care of the rest.’
Well that might be true for them.
But for an increasing number of guys the dating scene is becoming akin to some Sisyphean nightmare where we push the boulder of Tinder / Bumble / Hinge dating up to the top of some steep terrain only to watch it roll back down again as she ghosts, flakes, or makes up some excuse never to see you again.
‘The problem is with modern women’ the podcasters cry! ‘Their standards are too high. they are no longer willing to date on a level commensurate with their own.’
Not entirely untrue.
But none of us is going to change that any time soon.
And so again, I exhort you to instead consider your OWN attitude to this situation.
And the fact is that you are so befuddled by your overpowering desire for ANY form of female attention that you are continually shooting yourself in the foot.
Because you see women can SMELL desperation.
It is more pungent for them than the most inferior drugstore cologne.
And it drives them away in droves.
Broadly speaking there are only two solutions to this problem:
Get older, like me, so the monkey is somewhat off your back and you are able to place sex and intimacy into a more appropriate context.
or . . .
GET YOURSELF MORE OPTIONS.
I’m not saying number 2. is easy.
And of course, if you really fall hard for Anastasia or whoever, then ‘other girls’ are not necessarily going to automatically reduce that sting.
But for god’s sake man, there are around four billion women on the planet.
And the problem you have is you’re not meeting enough of them.
If you’re meeting any at all.
As a gentleman, I am in no way suggesting you should become some caricature 90s ‘love rat’ type who sleeps around indiscriminately.
But you MUST at minimum become more social ands start talking to more women, whether that’s during the daytime, in the evenings at clubs and bars, or whatever.
Does this contradict what I’ve already said about you wanting it too much?
NO! A thousand times no!
Because socialising - meeting new people, new women - is simply that. Meeting people.
You have to learn to remove the added layer of desperation.
And instead develop an almost Zen-like attitude to this stuff.
‘That woman looks stylish and pretty. I’m going to go and talk to her. if she likes me then great. If not, then that’s no problem either.’
Because the fundamental point is that as you realise that your options out there are literally limitless, your yearning desperation SHOULD start to subside.
You SHOULD start to become capable of interacting with women in a more natural and easy manner.
And then guess what - excised of that grasping need you displayed before you will be more attractive to them.
It is ONLY at this point that the bottleneck will ease and things will start to happen for you,
I hope this is helpful to you. Please do leave me a comment below and be sure to share this on your socials or with anyone who might benefit.
Also, if you’re struggling with this stuff and would like to book a free, no-obligation 15 min call with me then book a time slot here now.
Looking forward to reading more of your work here Troy.